Spend a few hours with crisis management consultants TerraFirma, the firm retained by XL Insurance as part of their suite ofcoverage for kidnap, ransom, extortion and other crisis events, andyou learn a few surprising things about how ransom situations canbe handled.

“Can” is the key word here, for no two incidents are the same:every kidnapping case is different. One thing they all have incommon, however, is they are always carried out by desperatepeople. Even the most organized crime syndicates or kidnappingnetworks are all driven by greed, and fear—and fear is the oneweapon they wield most forcefully when they hold someone’s lovedone captive. When someone close to you disappears, you’ll doanything to get them back, and kidnappers prey on that desperatesense of urgency.

Kidnap for ransom doesn’t have to end badly, and in the greatmajority of cases, concludes with the hostage’s safe release.During a recent visit to XL’s downtown Manhattan offices, NationalUnderwriter P&C received a crash course in some of thestrategies employed in the long, painful process of getting yourloved ones home safely.

Risk management experts like Terra Firma are the ones who shouldbe contacted first in the event of a kidnapping, but in most cases,if it’s your loved one who’s been snatched, you’ll be the personwith whom the kidnappers will insist on speaking. Criminals won’twant to be put on the phone with someone who isn’t necessarilydesperate to facilitate the hostage’s return. They’ll want to dealwith you, directly.

Read on to discover what we learned from those whose job it isto get hostages back safely.

1. Don’t ever simply meet thekidnappers’ first ransom offer. Every kidnapping is aboutcontrol—or, rather, your almost total loss of it, because thekidnapper has the upper hand. The lone vestige of power you have:being the only buyer in the market for this commodity, thehostage.

So don’t simply give in and meet the kidnappers’ firstdemand. Think of it as an asking price for a precious object.There has to be some back-and-forth before a deal is done.

2. Start with a low offer.Kidnappers will scorn your first offer regardless; start low andyou’ll let the kidnappers know you’re not just going to instantlymeet their demands. Determine what you have on hand (or to whichyou have relatively quick access) and what constitutes a low offerin your area.

3. Don’t expect it to be overquickly. Unlike made-for-television dramas aboutkidnapping, actual cases can last for days, weeks, or months, orsometimes even a year or more, depending on the country and thecircumstances.

Again, ultimately, although you determine the offer, you’re notin control; the kidnapper is. Any number of things can be happeningon the captors’ end that could determine how long it will be beforethat person is returned, even once the ransom is paid.

4. Be careful of how you deal with local lawenforcement. In many Latin American countries, wherekidnapping is common and becomingmore so as distressed economies come under increasing pressure,some individuals in local law enforcement are co-opted by criminalsor, in a worst-case scenario, can be directly involved in thekidnapping. In some countries, the law requires that the family oremployer of a kidnap victim must report the crime. So if you’re indoubt, it’s best to confer with advisors or a corporate (or family)attorney.

5. Demand proof of life. Thecriminal underworld is, in many cases, a small world. Often when aperson or persons are taken, other criminals will hear about it,and can “parachute in” and try to steal the ransom by falselyclaiming that THEY have the captured person or people. Refuse totalk about money until you can actually speak to the hostage.

A tip: Establish your own set of “safe questions” and answerswith your spouse, in the event that one of you is everkidnapped—questions to which only you would know the answer. Thiswill aid you greatly in confirming the other is, in fact, alive andbeing held prisoner.

6. Expect the pressureto increase. Kidnappers don’t want to lose control, andthey mostly don’t like to have to deal. Odds are, your loved onewho’s been kidnapped is going to be at a minimum, threatened, andat worst, brutalized before this is all over.

It’s not uncommon for the hostage to be put on the phone to begthat you arrange their release immediately. Then the kidnappermight seize the phone and make the vilest threats imaginable. Ifyou find yourself on the phone with the kidnapper in such asituation, keep a cool head. As one Terra Firma risk expert put it,“You have to stay strong and focused for the benefit of thehostage.”

7. Don’t give in toemotions and promise more than you have. Stay withinrealistic expectations when it comes to the ransom you’ll pay.Making an offer of money that you don’t have can result in a deadlyoutcome.

In most cases, however, the kidnapper would rather have theransom than kill the hostage. It’s a matter of money and, sad tosay, a business. Continuously ask for proof of life to insure thesafety of the hostage and stick to the game plan.

8. In the final analysis, youdecide. Terra Firma’s consultants emphasized that it’s thefamily or company who makes the decisions, not the risk managementfirm. The firm advises the client throughout the negotiations andis on hand 24-7 from the beginning to the conclusion of thecrisis. When the kidnapped person is covered by aK&R policy, say, a corporate executive (and most of them arerightly unaware that they are covered), the insurer waits for theoutcome and then writes the checks. The onus is on them to do theirdue diligence in contracting with a reputable consulting firm.

For additional information on XL’s K&R coverage, go here.