From first breath to dying gasp,complaining is among the most common of human activities. The markof a healthy newborn is an immediate cry after birth; age andexperience seem to do little to lessen the practice. The state ofmind for even the wildly successful person is still often one ofdiscontent. In the words of one rock star, “I can't complain, butsometimes I still do.”

P&C losses can create a perfect storm for the complaintsthat are already such a part of human activity. An adjuster'sdemanding schedule can try the patience. In addition to life'susual irritations, insureds and claimants must also deal with theheightened financial concerns and potential physical pain that canaccompany a loss.

Although the term “complaint” has a negative connotation, anaccurate gripe can actually be a good thing. It can help identifyan ineffective behavior pattern or practice, lead to an improvementin our operations, or provide an opportunity to salvage arelationship with a valued customer. If we have the willingness to listen, then these types ofcomplaints can aid in our success by bringing harmful problems tolight.

Sure, a bogus complaint can seem like a waste of time at firstglance, but it can actually be the more valuable type of gripe asfar as individual growth is concerned. When responded toappropriately, unfair criticism can help us to improve ourinterpersonal skills and work on personal flaws—a process that hasimplications for all of life.

Anatomy of a Complainer

Despite extensive research, a universal psychological theorythat applies equally to all people has proven elusive. Perhaps thegreatest area of common ground among counseling theories, however,comes from the ideas of empathy and “positive regard” that weresuch an important part of Carl Rogers' person-centeredapproach.

Aside from obvious differences, the adjusting process is similarto counseling in its heavy reliance on interpersonal communication.Respect and empathy are so crucial for successful claim resolutionfor the same reason they are for successful counseling: people tendto disengage and become defensive when they feel threatened,insulted, or criticized.

The maxim “the customer is always right,” doesn't carry muchclout in the world of adjusting. Fraud exists. Coverage does notalways apply. People have unrealistic expectations regarding claimvalues. Simply put, it is not uncommon for a complaint about aninsurance claim to be unfounded.

However, the complainer need not be demonized, even if he is inthe wrong. Complainers are just average people. Sometimes they havesignificant knowledge gaps when dealing with matters outside theirown professions. (An inflated sense of entitlement is often justreliance on misinformation.) Often they may have difficulties intheir families and marriages, frustrations in their jobs, worriesabout personal finances, and health problems.

I am often struck by how my own level of empathy andeffectiveness can change when I pick up an unexpected detail aboutan insured's or a claimant's life. Sometimes I'll just imagine thata person lodging a complaint has some sort of crisis going on. Myexperiences have suggested that this supposition is more likelyright than wrong.

Anatomy of a Complainee

Thomas Kempis, a medieval theologian, once remarked that “Youare not better because you are praised, nor worse because you areblamed, for as you are, you are.” Our emotions can often lead us inother directions, but complaints don't establish our worth. Ourreactions often say more about our own insecurities and fears thananything else.

Accepting our own humanity in a humble and honest way can clearthe way for a complaint to be truly heard and properly used. Whenstripped of its accusatory power, a complaint can help us focuscustomer service on successful resolution rather than onself-justification. Of course our own imperfections don'tnecessarily mean that a complaint is founded. Rather, it is theresistance to the disapproval of others that so often distracts usfrom careful listening, appropriate questioning, and generallyfocusing on how a complaint can be best addressed.

Be the Better Ape

Scientists generally categorize great apes into five categories:orangutans, gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos, and humans. We all lacktails, are omnivorous, have the ability to imitate, experienceemotions, and share a big chunk of DNA (between 96.4 and 99.3percent, depending on the species). Our less-sophisticatedbiological “cousins” have also been observed in the wild kissing,committing murder and rape, playing with rudimentary “dolls,” andfashioning crude spears for hunting. All apes bicker, squabble—andyes—complain.

Despite such intriguing similarities, there are cleardifferences that set humans apart. Our ability to communicate; readand write; transmit complicated cultural practices; developsophisticated technology; and form complex laws and governments arejust some of the ways that humans stand out from our biologicalbrethren.

Perhaps most important for this discussion, however, is theheightened human capacity for self-awareness. Any ape can complain,but it is uniquely the human who is capable of overcoming emotionwith reason, looking at life philosophically, and using a complaintas a tool for personal and professional growth. We can gripe aboutthe complaints we get, or work out a way to use them. I think it issafe to assume that they won't be stopping anytime soon.