In insurance, the policyholder is the customer, the magicalsomebody who is responsible for practically every penny of revenuethat is paid to insurance carriers.

Keeping the policyholder happy is a full-time job for insurancecustomer service professionals and a part-time job for almosteveryone else: claim professionals, TPAs, independent agents,caseworkers, and underwriters as well as those in sales andmarketing, loss control, premium audit, brokerage, governmentalpools, and public adjusting.

In insurance, practically everyone rates everyone else: agentsrate the quality of their dealings with carriers; policyholdersrate carriers, too. Managers do performance appraisals of theirstaff. A.M. Best rates carriers. Upper management rates everyone.But it's the customer's perception of the insurance company thatreally counts because they have subtle expectations about thepeople with whom they trust to keep risk at bay.

Year after year, we hear that "communication skills" top thelist of recruiting companies' desired traits among collegegraduates. In claims, where adjusters spend almost a third of theirweek communicating with claimants, superb writing skills are vitalto success.

While we all know that poor claim writing can lead to bad-faithlawsuits, a slow-down in settlements, loss of a company'sprofessional image, and assorted other catastrophes, there isn'tmuch written about how, precisely, key specific writingdeficiencies that show up in claim communications have a directinfluence on a customer's attitude toward a carrier. This articlewill show how seven of the key writing errors made in claims affectthe customer's perception of a company, based on the types ofwriting problems observed. Then we will show the result of thatresult: the negative behaviors that dampen the claim process andmay cost the industry untold millions of dollars.

The seven writing problems are: (1) old-fashioned phrases; (2)poor organization; (3) poor phrasing; (4) inappropriate tone; (5)"weasel words" or hedging; (6) poor punctuation and grammar; and(7) wordiness.

Old-Fashioned Phrases

It's not strange that business phrases appropriate 50-70 yearsago still show up in claim writing. New hires, afraid of rockingthe boat, look to the filing cabinet for models of how the companyexpects them to write. So, phrases like "enclosed please find,""under separate cover," "pursuant to," "very truly yours," and "donot hesitate to contact me," still abound in tens of thousands ofclaim letters sent daily.

How does the reader react? Faced with stiff, stodgy prose, he isimmediately on the defensive. These phrases signal a formality thatmeans one had better be careful. There is a line in the sandbetween the reader and the writer who has had his uniquepersonality drained by these clich?s and quaint phrases.

The result is wariness. Wariness can spell the beginnings of anadversarial relationship that can cast a pall on all future dealingwith the policyholder. While the reader has not met you in personyet, they have met a stilted, stodgy version of you and that mayresult in a feeling that they will have to be extra-assertive ifthey are to crack through the fa?ade of "corporate-ese."

Poor Organization

When a reader examines a claim document, he expects it to get tothe point and lay out the message in an easy-to-grasp, evenpredictable format that takes the reader comfortably from beginningto end.

Unless claim professionals have been trained in organizinginformative and persuasive documents, they may find themselvesreinventing the wheel with each new letter and taking the readernot to a destination, but on a cruise to nowhere. Oh sure, thefacts are all there, but the reader is left at the end of thedocument wondering, "Why did you write to me?"

Since we all dislike dissonance, we need to get clarification asto just what is expected of us from this somewhat rambling missivethat never makes its point clear. So the policyholder calls theadjuster and is put on hold, where he listens to things like, "Yourcall is very important to us," and snippets of music that furthergrates the nerves. The claim person is at lunch. The policyholdercalls back, and pretty soon he is enraged at the time spent tryingto understand what should have been clear from the letter. Now thereader is feeling adversarial, and when people feel adversarial,they may go to your manager and sound off.

Poor Phrasing

How would you react if you received the following in a claimletter?

"During a recent review of our records, it has come to ourattention that your mode of payment is out of synch. Your policyeffective date is September 20, 1999, showing an annual mode ofpayment, paying the policy to October 20, 2007. An annual mode ofpayment must coincide with the effective date of our policy.Therefore, your annual mode must show a date of September 20,2007."

At first, you might think that something must be wrong with you.Why doesn't this paragraph make sense? Eventually, you realize thatit doesn't make sense because the writer wasn't explicit, threwaround jargon like "out of sync," and "mode," and never really madeclear what was needed.

Here are several other examples of poor phrasing taken fromactual claim letters:

?"In regards to ..." [The desired word is regard, notregards.]

?"The settlement reached for this claim is $30,000; however$5,000 was deducted to cover Jones Farms' deductible, which has notbeen eroded. [Not clear what "eroded" refers to.]

?"After speaking with Mr. Lowell, he stated that he was backingout of the parking space while you were pulling into a parkingspace, hitting your vehicle." [Huh?]

And my favorite: "Based on the coverage form, there is nocoverage for vehicles that you hire for collision with anotherobject."

The result is anger, frustration, and antipathy. Are theyplaying you for a fool by talking over your head or being unclear?The reader thinks, "Well, maybe it's time to get a lawyer to dealwith these people." No ledger can record the cost of this type ofhighly alienating prose on the policyholder, but the cost is highand it's cumulative.

Inappropriate Tone

How would you react if you read the following in a claimletter?

?"Let me remind you that it is your job to provide us withevidence of damages to warrant any more payments."

?"As you well know, it is impossible to determine appropriateand necessary medical expenses if you persist in delaying tellingus which services Dr. Oman rendered."

?"Please respond accurately and quickly."

Many readers would consciously or subconsciously recognize thatthe writers are beating them up, putting them down, and making themfeel a lot less than OK. If tone is the writer's attitude towardthe reader, then the reader may feel the nasty, negative, or abrupttone is the hallmark of their insurance carrier as well as theiradjusters.

The result is that some readers will get miffed enough to think,"Who does this character think he is?" The next time he calls hisinsurance company, he may just register a complaint with theadjuster or examiner's manager. That can snowball into a range ofnegative outcomes. Customers pick up on tone, and it is natural forthem to push back.

Weasel Words or Hedging

The following snippets have been taken from actual claimswriting:

?"I will try to discuss these issues in this letter.

?It is my understanding that ...

?Although I cannot confirm the extent of the project, it appears...

?Assuming the above to be accurate ...

?I am advised that ...

?Presumably ...

?To the extent that these events did occur ...

?It appears the bathroom could be repaired for $100.

?I have no knowledge as to why it is alleged to have warped.

?Thus it is hard to comment upon whether this would becovered.

?I believe the above covers all of the damage I am awareof."

All of these comments were taken from the same letter.

How many of your professionals sound as if they are far fromsure about what they are writing? If they are unsure, readers areeven less sure that they are hearing certainty, not circumlocution.A single use of the word "may" in a claim letter convinced at leastone court that ambiguous language contributed to bad faith. Payout:$840,000.

"May" is a weasel word and judges know it. Too many vaguephrases in a document can undermine its authority and accuracy. Youdon't need to be an attorney to sense that a claim writer is usingtoo much "wiggle room" in his reporting of a claim. Challenging acarrier's sense of indefiniteness has won a lot of lawsuits forplaintiffs. Writing training should help claim professionals checkfor weasel words in their writing with the same certainty that aspell checker uncovers misspellings.

Poor Punctuation and Grammar

Just in case you think that the grammar check on your computermakes you immune from punctuation and grammar errors, think again.Most grammar checkers catch only about 10-15 percent of the mostblatant errors in punctuation and grammar.

If only five letters were written daily by each of the largest2,000 insurance carriers, TPAs, and independent agents, that wouldamount to 100,000 letters. In my experience of teaching claimprofessionals, about 60 percent of those letters will havepunctuation or grammar mistakes. When insureds see these mistakes,they may not know exactly what is going wrong, but their instinctwill be that it doesn't sound right. Some will actually read theletter through and correct the mistakes. In either case, thecompany gains a reputation for lack of professionalism.

If your company has suffered from too many basic writing errors,it may be feeling it in surveys showing how agents or insureds feelabout their interactions with the carrier. Perhaps you can't putyour finger on what's wrong, but your instinct tells you that themessage is subtly being mangled. That shows carelessness. Doreaders want to have their car, home, farm, or life insured by acompany that neglects the basics of punctuation, grammar, spelling,capitalization, abbreviation, or format?

Wordiness

Readers appreciate conciseness, but how many adjusters recognizewhen they are using too many words to get an idea across? Here area few examples taken from wordy letters:

?"According to Ms. Green's past medical history, she has beentotally disabled since 1994 due to various illness conditions."

?"Return the properly signed forms back to Acme Mutual."

?"Monsoon storm ..."

?"It reveals several occurrences alleged to have occurred."

It may not show up on a carrier's balance sheet, but wordiness-- like ice under a moving car -- slows up the whole process ofadjusting. Even if extra words account for adding only five percentmore time to the settling of each claim, that five percent canresult in the silent bleeding away of millions of dollars in lostproductivity.

Unlike learning how to drive, the process of learning how towrite is ongoing. No single class can root out all of the potentialproblems embedded in a claim department's hundreds of form andfree-form letters that are sent to thousands of customers annually.To assess your own company's letters, pick one up and ask yourself,"How would I react if this letter was sent to me?" Read the letteraloud. You'll then be confronted with how easy it is to getcomplacent about communicating with insureds.

Gary Blake is director of the Communication Workshop, whichoffers on-site seminars as well as seminars throughout theinsurance community. He may be reached [email protected],www.writingworkshop.com.

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