Randy Carver is a financial advisor with athriving practice outside Cleveland, Ohio.

Carver is also a licensed private pilot with a twin-engineCessna. Several years ago, a crash landing left him with shatteredribs, collapsed lungs and a cracked larynx.

After leaving the hospital and returning to work, Carver wasforced to speak with clients in a strained whisper through a voiceamplifier. The impact: He learned to listen.

Carver paid attention to client's tone of voice, nuanced wordsand emotional cues. He heard the words behind the words. Heinternalized their personal memories and stories — or money scripts— and empathized with their concerns and fears.

Active listening

Randy Carver mastered a skill that a growing number of leadingfinancial professionals call empathetic, active or meaningfullistening. These industry leaders insist that the often underratedskill of truly listening is the critical first step to formingbonds of trust with prospects and clients.

Michael Kitces, a trainer, coach and author of an educationalnewsletter for financial professionals, considers listening to bethe most important communication skill for advisors.

“Consider taking classes to build your skills of activelistening and empathy,” Kitces said. “Because the truth is thatclients won't really trust you until they feel that they're beingheard and understood.”

Kitces calls empathic listening the foundational first steptoward strong verbal, written, motivational and public relationsskills.

“If there is one skill that seems to have a bigger impact aboveall else for the success of a financial planner, it's the abilityto listen. To REALLY listen,” Kitces blogged to financial professionalsseeking to up their game. “You're not actually an expert at doingreal financial planning, and providing solutions that helpclients achieve their own goals, if you're not skilled atreally exploring what those goals are in the firstplace.”

Related: Talking to prospects: sales call or crossexamination?

Making a client feel “heard” can be difficult, Kitces adds,particularly given most advisors' natural tendencies to sellthemselves, their processes and their portfolios.

“They (advisors) have a strong tendency to talk about theirexpertise, knowledge, services, products and solutions first,”Kitces said. “Only secondarily do they get around to actuallyhearing what the client really wants and needs.”

Rich dialogue

Daniel Finely, president of the consultancy Advisor Solutionsand author of “101 Advisor Solutions: A Financial Advisor's Guideto Strategies that Educate, Motivate, and Inspire,” holdsactive listening workshops for advisors. Through role-playingsessions that replicate advisor-client meetings, Finely helpsadvisors move from one-way conversations to rich dialogue. Heencourages participants to rephrase clients' words, observelanguage nuances and empathize with their emotions. After thesessions, he often hears that those playing the client role feltmost connected when the advisor was listening.

Related: Ask powerful questions to increase clientinteraction

Experts suggest that advisors approach the client meeting as aconversation with no preconceptions about the problems orsolutions. This means putting him or herself in clients' shoes,tuning into their wavelength and listening from their frame ofreference. The advisor should explore core issues and hiddenconcerns, pausing to ask clarifying questions and repeat backimportant points. Recommendations should only come when theconversation is complete. In the end, the proposed solutions shouldfeel like a natural fit.

What are the pitfalls? The experts have lists. Financial plannerand author Andrew Sobel offers a range of advice:

• Avoid insincere listening, such as listeningfaintly as you formulate your next question or point.
• Try to stop “thinking ahead.” Be sure to waitfor the client to breathe to jump in with your comment.
• Don't allow yourself to be distracted. Avoidchecking your cell phone or email during the conversation. Be sureto take copious, linear notes.
• No one is looking for an advisor who is in love withtheir own ideas or dominating the discussion.
• Advisors also must stay away from indulgingbiases and allowing prejudices to influence theconversation.

William Ury, a senior fellow at the Harvard Negotiation Projectand co-author of the best-selling business classic “Getting to Yes,” calls listening “the goldenkey that opens the door to human relationship.”

“We often take listening for granted as something easy andnatural,” Ury said in a TED Talk titled “The Power of Listening.”“But, in fact, at least in my experience, real, genuine listeningis something that needs to be learned and practiced every day … Ingenuine listening, we listen not just for what's being said but forwhat's not being said. We listen not just to the words but towhat's behind the words. We listen for the underlying emotions, andfeelings, the underlying needs, what that person really needs orwants.”

Related: How to talk with clients in crisis

Ury notes that empathic listening is employed by the world'smost successful negotiators and mediators who must build trust withtheir counterparts across the table.

“And it makes it more likely that the other person is going tolisten to us,” Ury said. “Listening may be the cheapest concessionwe can make in a negotiation. It costs us nothing, and it bringshuge benefits.”

'You never listen!'

Of course, the value of empathic listening is not limited tofinancial meetings or negotiations. Listening issues are evident toanyone who's ever heard a spouse, partner, relative or friendcomplain, “You never listen to me.” Experts also warn thatdeficient listening may be reaching epidemic proportion in this ageof texts, tweets, constant disruptions and short attentionspans.

As for Randy Carver, his voice has grown stronger and hispractice has flourished. Carver Financial Services now manages morethan $1 billion in assets for 2,500 families. Randy no longerrelies on a voice amplifier to talk to clients, and his voicesounds just fine on his frequent guest appearances on Fox and CNN.In the meantime, he makes one key promise to clients and prospects:He promises to listen.

Steve Luckenbach, CFS, is a regional vice president forJackson National Life Distributors. Contacthim online or call (513) 218-0053.