Most people do not understand how hard it is to set fire to ahouse that destroys the entire dwelling and its contents. Mostresidences simply do not have sufficient combustibles in the rightplace to allow for a sustained fire. Many homes, especially themore modern ones, have fail-safe devices everywhere that makeaccidental fires a thing of the past.

An insured decided that the only possible means of escaping hismortgage was to burn down his house. Being a rather imaginativefellow, he decided to also make the fire look like an accident.

On leaving his house in the afternoon, he opened the gas jets onthe stove, blew out the pilot on his gas dryer and water heater,and set the thermostat on his electronically ignited furnace to 80degrees F. It was a hot summer day, but he assumed it wouldeventually cool off a little, the thermostat would kick on thefurnace, and the electronic starter would ignite the entire house.What he did not count on was Southern California's Santa Ana Windsthat brought heat from the desert, and kept the outside temperaturein the hundreds all day and into the night. The insured could notanticipate that a neighbor with clear sinuses would smell the gas,turn it off at the meter, and save the house.

Of course when the insured returned home, he had to hide hisdisappointment that the house was still there. Undaunted, however,he tried again the next week. This time he took no chances. He wentto the hardware store and bought a case of Coleman cooking fuel andspread it throughout the house. Then he tore up a book of papermatches so that there was no cover, only matches. He lit acigarette and placed it low between the matches and left the houseconfident that when the cigarette burned down it would ignite thematch heads and burn down the house. He was again sorelydisappointed when he returned home to find the house stillthere.

The would-be arsonist had his innocent wife with him as analibi. When they entered the house, she became hysterical at thesight of the flammable liquids poured throughout the house. Sheinsisted that he report the incident to the fire department. Hewouldn't do it so she, against his wishes, called in the arsoninvestigators.

“Boy, you were lucky. The idiot who tried to set fire to yourhouse set his fuse upside down!” The youngest investigator blurtedout to them before his partner's swift kick in the shins could stophim. The fact that the cigarette to be used as a fuse must beplaced at the head of the matches, not the base, was not known tothe insured and the cigarette merely burned itself out.

The insured learned a lesson from the arson investigator. Thehouse burned down almost totally two days later.

The claim to the insurer included, among many other things, oneEncyclopaedia Britannica and a wooden duck decoy. Theseinconsequential items, comprising part of a claim for more than$100,000 in personal property, led to the insured's arrest whenthey were found intact and undamaged in his temporaryresidence.

The insured was arrested for arson and insurance fraud. Hisclaim was denied.

He sued for bad faith and the insurer was required to defend thelawsuit for a total of five years because it could not compel histestimony at deposition or trial until his criminal case wasresolved. The suit finally settled with the arsonist and hispresumably innocent spouse for a payment of $2,000. Twenty timesless than the amount expended by the insurer to defend the spuriouslawsuit brought by the insured.

Why did the insured offer to settle for so little? For at leastthree reasons:

First, because the district attorney could not get someone totry the arson case and it was continued over and over again untilall of the witnesses were gone or had forgotten everything theyknew.

Second, because the district attorney and the insured had made adeal that if the insured pleaded guilty to one count of insurancefraud he would not go to jail. The district attorney, although heknew of the insurer's interest in the case and the lawsuit pendingagainst it, did not advise the insurer of the deal.

Third, the insured was a drug dealer who made an arrangementwith the prosecutor to testify against other drug dealers and waseventually put into the witness protection program.

The insurance case was never tried. Two days after thesettlement was paid in the civil action and more than five yearsafter the fire, the insured appeared in criminal court and pleadedguilty to one count of insurance fraud. He was given probation. Thecase wasn't a priority matter to the prosecutor since only aninsurance company was being hurt. The fact that the insurer wasrequired to defend a bad faith suit for five years at enormous costwas of no apparent concern to the prosecutors. The insured did notprofit from the fire with a cash award. He was relieved of hismortgage debt (which the insurer was required to pay to themortgagee who had not been culpable in the arson) and he paid hislawyer one third of the $2,000 settlement.

The arson investigator who worked so hard to find evidence toarrest the insured was later arrested and convicted as a serialarsonist. Apparently he was upset that there was an arson fire inhis town that he did not set. Sometimes, justice is actuallydone.