Welcome to October, official home of the scariest evening of the year outside of election night: Halloween! And in a world awash in oil spills, famine, floods, melting glaciers and massive hurricanes, what, judging by the media attention, is truly terrifying us today?

Bedbugs.

Yep, those dangerous denizens of folk tale and medieval Europe have evidently returned with a vengeance to prey upon unsuspecting travelers (hotel beds), families (home beds) and office workers (file cabinets, or so we hear). Suddenly parents who routinely tucked their young ones into bed with a gentle kiss and sing-song, "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite" are confronting actual reality–to say nothing of inflicting potentially deep mental anguish and permanent psychic damage, the study of which is no doubt even now inspiring any number of university think tanks to prepare proposals for government grants. Can class-action lawsuits be far behind? To quote long-ago SCTV shock fest host Count Floyd, "Ooohhh, pretty scary, kids!"