February is the month of love and we all know strongrelationships are built on a foundation of love. So if agents claimthat the foundation of their businesses is strong clientrelationships, doesn't it logically follow that agents and clientsshould be in love?

No, not the “might as well face it, you're addicted to love”kind of love. Maybe more like the wonderful song from “Fiddler onthe Roof”: “Do you love me? Do I what?” When Tevye and his wifeeventually realize that after 25 years, “I suppose I do” is theanswer, their discovery is still as warm and glowing as any Romeoand Juliet may have conjured in their wildest teenage angst.Similarly, in the beginning your relationship with your customerswas more like Tevye's arranged marriage. But after all these years,do they suppose you love them, too?

Specifically, with apologies to the Mindbenders, would yourclients sing “Wouldn't you agree, agent, you and me, we got agroovy risk management kind of love?”

Some of you are no doubt thinking I could not be referring tothe same risk management you have studied in your seminars andtextbooks. How could this–what many consider a mechanical,analysis-driven process–be equated to emotional bonding on anexalted level?

Ah, grasshopper, open your eyes that you may see. Mayhap anexample?

When I was in college, I spent a few of my summers diggingditches for a VA hospital construction site near Tampa, Fla. As ifthe ever-present threat of heatstroke wasn't already a risk, thefact that it was a federal project meant we had to wear hard hats.Just imagine shoveling away in the scorching sun and near 100percent humidity with a portable microwave on your head and youhave some sense of the experience. Did I love that job? Not achance.

But was I truly grateful to my brother-in-law for getting me thejob? For sure! Because that job was just a tool, a process (soundfamiliar?) for acquiring that which I did love: a new stereo!

Yes, even though at the time my concrete block jail cell of acollege dorm room was currently being sonically well-served by amere Bell & Howell cassette recorder, I dreamed of abrighter–and louder–world. One where the opening bass line of theAllman's “Whipping Post” literally blew the dust off the shelves.Where Spooky Tooth's “Evil Woman” would be shared with the entirewing of my dorm, yet the volume knob would only read “3″ on a scaleof 10. I wanted other Zeppelin freaks miles away to feel everyanguished note as Plant wailed, “Since I've been loving you, I'mabout to lose my worried mind” right along with me.

Needless to say, the tape recorder at full blast failed to scalesuch heights. But at the end of the summer, my digging earningspurchased several magical components such as a magnetic cartridgeturntable, separate amp (and those watts were RMS, baby!), twokiller air-suspension speakers and, of course, a stereo cassettetape deck for my vast Bell & Howell collection. As soon as Ireturned to the dorm, Radio Free Amrhein was on the air!

The west campus would never be the same.

Astute readers may now have gleaned one more detail of thisprocess. The stereo was but another tool, the purchases anotherprocess. All directed to obtaining what I really loved: theemotional power of music!

In the same sense, it isn't risk management or the stellarproducts and services you offer that clients will love. Those aremerely the tools and processes directed to obtaining what theyreally love: the emotional power of security and peace of mind.

Let's briefly review the 5 steps in the risk management processand see the love grow.

1. Identify the risks. Where is the emotionalconnection in merely selling a product or answering a request for aquote? Such relationships are less “ain't no mountain high enough”and more like Rod Stewart: “You can even use my best cologne, justdon't be here in the morning when I wake up.” Nothing says romancequite like direct bill escrow.

If you are truly interested in a future with someone, you proveit by truly being interested in them. Ask questions. What is yourfavorite thing? What frightens you? What are your goals and dreams?If I could make one nightmare go away, what would it be? If youonly had seconds to leap from your window to escape an explodingfire, what (or who–life and health are also risks of loss) wouldyou grab to take with you?

2. Consider possible alternatives. How may Ihelp thee? Let us count the ways. And never forget true love is not“my way or the highway.” In many risks of loss, insurance solutionsare not the only, or even the best options. Consider such riskmanagement tactics as avoidance (never buy a teenage male who'stheme song is “I Can't Drive 55″ an expensive, overpowered car) orretention (forget the computer insurance, get yourself aninexpensive massive storage drive and/or just back up the universeto the cloud).

3. Price and select alternatives. If all youwant is to sing in the sunshine and then be on your way, the bestchoice today will do. But if you are in this until the 12th ofnever, prices will change, markets will turn and new products andservices will arise. Today, a soft market may make a high limitsumbrella an easy choice. When markets get really hard down theroad, maybe the price and available limits make this a bad idea.Property values rise and fall, families and lifestyles evolve,needs and risks of loss change. Regularly revisiting yesterday'sanswers for today's realities is part of any dynamic, growingrelationship.

4. Implement. Whatever the joint decisions madein the third step, no action means no future. Take it from theTrogs: If you really love them, come on and let it show. We've allknown folks who talked a good game, but when it came to actuallycarrying through on the promises, vaporware replaced love and care.It may require some tough love, too, if the client is the onedragging his or her feet. But demonstrating your commitment bypushing clients to keep theirs is actually a confirmation youbelieve in and want the relationship. Anyone who has dealt withkids knows the name of this tune: they may not like (OK, they mayactually hate) your ideas, but they need to know you haven'tabandoned or given up on them.

5. Monitor the results. Are your implementedalternatives working? Is your client's peace of mind and securityimproving? When losses occur, are promises fulfilled and thuscommitments confirmed? Keeping your mind in the game turns the riskmanagement process from a checklist to a virtuous cycle. As timesand people change, as new ideas and possibilities arise, thenatural next step is to return to the first step and work throughthe process again and again. The key to keeping the relationshiphealthy and growing is to prove you care how things are going andstay fully invested. (“I love you more today than yesterday”).Conversely, if you consider risk management to be a “once anddone,” then you risk your client's tune changing to, “I used tolove her, but it's all over now.”

We've come down to the crossroads. Time to flag a ride. So whatis to be your commitment to your clients in building solid,love-based relationships? Will it be a third-rate romance, low-rentrendezvous? Or love unlimited?

In this romantic month of February, I'm going with BarryWhite.