With thanks to Paul Simon for the inspiration, here is something a little lighthearted for Valentine's Day.
The problem is all inside your head she said to me
People paid for a liability policy
And now your desk has paper in piles
And people screaming about upcoming trials
The answer is easy if you take it logically
Just close those files and set yourself free
I'd like to help you in your struggle
With those large loss reports that you must juggle
There must be fifty ways
To leave no cover
Your notice was late, Kate,
And then you didn't cooperate
That's not an occurrence, Terrence
It's impaired property, Lee
You furnished alcohol, Paul
You intended that, Matt
We're just excess, Bess
We reserved on Bus, Gus
Your claim relates back, Jack
You spilled pollution, Lucien
It's a four corners state, mate
That's not PD, Bea
The plaintiff's your employee, Dee
You're just not an AI, Ty
You never gave notice, Otis
Your payment was voluntary, Jerry
An insured, a dog is not, Spot
You had knowledge of falsity, Leigh
We just never intended to cover that, Pat
You prejudiced us, Russ
That relief's only declaratory, Lori
You're not legally obligated to pay, Jay
That's not trade dress, Les
There's misrep. in your app, Kap
We defended but we don't have to indemnify, Guy
We'll just investigate, Nate
Your claim's not first made, Wade
There's other insurance, Vince
You've got an uninsured share, Claire
The damage is your own work, Kirk
Wrong policy term, Thurm
We forgot to reserve but we still didn't waive, Dave
It's TCPA, Faye
Or call it a junk fax, Max
It's not an accident, Kent
We don't cover an assault, Walt
We lost your file, Kyle
And your file too, Lou
Your watercraft's not less than 26 feet, Pete
Emotional injury is not BI, Di
That's not a professional service, Gervase
I just ignored my boss, Ross
We don't cover recall, Saul
The policy is void, Boyd
That's mobile equipment, Clint
That's not a suit, Newt
And for absolutely no reason at all, your claim's denied, Clyde
There must be fifty ways,
To leave no cover
Editor's note: Randy Maniloff is an attorney at White and Williams, LLP in Philadelphia, where he represents insurers in coverage disputes under a host of policies. He is the co-author of General Liability Insurance Coverage – Key Issues in Every State (3rd edition, National Underwriter) and the publisher of the newsletter and website www.CoverageOpinions.info, where you can read a longer version of this list.
© Arc, All Rights Reserved. Request academic re-use from www.copyright.com. All other uses, submit a request to TMSalesOperations@arc-network.com. For more information visit Asset & Logo Licensing.