The Perfect Match

There are potential drawbacks to working with your spouse, such as problems from the business carrying over into your married life, and vice versa. But there are ways of overcoming these problems, and the benefits of working with your spouse far outweigh the negatives, if you can make it work. Based on my own experience, I'd like to share with you some points to consider if you are willing to take the plunge and work with your spouse in your insurance business.

Words to the wise

First, set goals and expectations and be reasonable and make a timeline with milestones to check your progress. Contrary to popular opinion, you won't know if you can make it right away. Like any new job and situation–or like marriage itself–working with your spouse takes time and practice. Give yourself time to get used to the newness of the situation, to working in close proximity to your spouse, before making any value judgments about the success or failure of your experiment. Give yourself credit for trying something many would not even attempt, and cut yourself slack for not being the Cosby family at work if there are rough spots at first.

Second, work apart from each other in the office. Everyone needs space, and spouses or partners working together need to have their own territory in the office. In our agency I handle the sales, while my wife does the accounting. By performing different tasks and having separate responsibilities, we are able to maintain a sense of healthy separation during the day so that we don't feel like we are on top of each other 24/7.

The level of freedom in your marriage and in your workplace depends on your state of mind and the way you approach both. The most important factor in your success is a willingness to weather the inevitable problems to ultimately prevail. Your goal is to be able to say you would rather have your spouse working with you than not working with you. An unrealistic goal is that working together will solve all the problems of your business or marriage.

Staking out your own territory will keep you sane and allow you to have your own identity in and out of the office. If you both sell, great–but don't sell the same lines of insurance, and if you do, make one the in-house sales rep and the other the out-of-office producer. Five years down the line, if your partner comes to you and says he or she wants out because he or she has no individual identity, it is because you did not carve out different areas of responsibility. And a product of that carve-out is leaving the other alone to make his or her own success and to make mistakes. Constant supervision, nitpicking about paperwork or style of doing business and one upping are sure to result in problems down the line, probably sooner than later. You are not a parent at work, you are a co-worker.

Differentiate between your roles at home and at work. Work should not be as informal as home. Make one day a week dress-down day, not every day. Make your workplace environment as professional as possible. Keeping the barriers up between home and office is actually very healthy. Work becomes a separate world, another dimension of your life, which is what it should be.

Work is not a reflection of your life; it is another facet of it, different and yet a part of the whole. For this reason, it's also a good idea to rent office space rather than working out of the home. Keeping work and home life separate reduces problems in one aspect of your life carrying over to the other.

Let's say you have an argument with your spouse at home. Your misery will double if you argue at work. Don't do it. Find a way to leave home behind when you get to work. Give yourselves time to figure out how to separate your work and home lives. Make it a goal and work toward it. Talk about it without specifics at work. Take up personal issues at home and do not ignore it, but block it at work.

Real-life pros and cons

Karol Payne, owner of San Jose Insurance Agency in Campbell, Calif., has discussed the possibility of working with her spouse, who is employed in the finance field with another company. Her
perceptions of working with her spouse came from seeing her parents work together in their agency.

"My mom and dad worked together in the agency for more than 40 years. Their 'separation of power' was fairly simple; he was 'the boss' at the office, and she pretty much ruled the roost at home… I didn't realize that until I started working with them when I was 29 years old," she said. "My father's age-old saying was that he'd rather be married than be right, at least on the home side. That completely changed at the office."

Some agency owners would never consider working with their spouses. Barry Link, managing partner of PDI Insurance in Gilroy, Calif., shares why he feels that way:

When I go home at night, this part of me is left behind. I don't bring it home, never have. If I were to start ranting about work, she wouldn't have a clue what I'm talking about. In fact, in those few times that I have started down the rant road, she just gives me a blank look. Then I shut up and we enjoy our evening. At PDI, we have a "no spouse" rule. I prefer no connection of my work life in my home life.

There are some strong economic arguments on both sides of the issue. Working with your spouse who handles or supervises the money reduces the employee theft exposure. During tough economic times, you can forgo salaries and take from the business what you need for expenses rather than having to meet the payroll of an employee, so working with your spouse can reduce your payroll expense. But the most important factor is that it can contribute to the success of your marriage. It is not worth having your spouse work with you if it going to reduce your marriage to ashes because you argue about work at home.

Brent Eastman, owner of Eastman Insurance Services in Salinas, Calif., shares his experience:

Maureen and I started in the insurance business in 1986 as claims examiners with the Auto Association. That experience and Maureen's degree in business and finance made her a natural choice for our CFO when we started our own agency in 2005. At that time I also remember my father telling me, "The only partnership that works is marriage." Running our agency is much like a marriage. The clear separation of responsibilities makes this work. I manage the sales and customer service and she manages the contracts, bills, commissions and marketing. In my mind the key to our success is our ability to separate our professional and private lives. We rarely discuss work and home. Naturally, some mild flirtation during the work day is a positive. We have been married for 22 years and have five children.

Brent and Maureen Eastman are examples of making spouse working relationships succeed by keeping business and home separate and by keeping the workplace fun. You can't and don't want to keep your marriage completely separate, as if you are strangers at work. But you need to keep lines of separation between your home and working environments. It is important not to take work home or bring home issues to the office. The link between your spouse and your business is the reason you are joining forces. Ask yourself if you would hire your spouse or work for your spouse if you didn't know each other.

It is not easy working with your spouse, but for some it can work. Couples might be pleasantly surprised if they try it that working together enhances both their business and their marriage.

Scott and Rose Robertson have worked together since 2003 when Rose joined Scott's agency after earning her BA.