Although insurance carriers care deeply about the approval ratings from their policyholders, responses to claimant complaints are often vague, legalistic, and filled with errors. Some of the stodginess and overly humble tone comes from the adjuster being in fearsome awe of the Insurance Commissioner, much in the same way the Tin Man, Lion, and Scarecrow regarded the all-powerful Wizard of Oz. This results in sentences that read, "Please allow the following to explain our position this claim," instead of "Here's how we handled this claim."
The following 12 pointers will help you catch and correct problems before sending out responses to claimants. Keep in mind that every error mentioned in this article was written or reviewed by a claim manager at one of America's leading property/casualty companies.
Tell the "story" of the claim. Think of the claim as a story that you are telling the reader. Keep the narrative flowing so that the reader pictures what you are describing. Telling them what happens next is more compelling than just spitting out facts, mathematics, and testimony.
Use the word "although" to your advantage. In a single sentence, people tend to remember what you put at the end. Therefore, if you have bad news and good news that you want to put in a sentence, lead with the bad news. If your intention is to play down the bad news, then consider starting your sentence with "although," which tends to whisk your reader swiftly through the words immediately following it. For example, "Although we have denied your claim, you may appeal our decision by contacting the Florida Insurance Association."
Read your work aloud. Your ear will catch problems that your eye may have missed. The inadvertent patronizing tone of the following can be discerned when you read it aloud: "You agreed to have a better understanding of why the payment was due."
Here's another example of awkward phrasing taken from a letter to a claimant:
"Based on the above-noted policy terms and exclusions, we must regretfully formally deny any and all liability coverage for that portion of your claim as reported."
Also, be on the lookout for "Please be advised" (stodgy and wordy); "Pursuant to our discussion," and "As per." For me, "Enclosed please find," "Under separate cover," and "Sincerely yours" should also be red-penciled.
Don't paraphrase when you mean to quote, and vice versa. Read the following sentence and ask yourself what's wrong with it: "Mr. Jackson's e-mail of February 3rd states he 'feels he was tricked into replacing my items with ones of lesser value and thus can never truly recoup my loss.'" The sentence is half quotation and half paraphrase. Obviously he didn't say this verbatim because he would not use "he" when referring to himself. He would have said "I was tricked …."
Use "regard," not "regards." When you write, "This response is in regards to your conversation," use the word "regard." "Regards" has to do with giving someone best wishes (e.g., Give my regards to Broadway.)
Do not use a first and last name in a salutation unless you are unsure of your reader's gender. If you are unclear if your reader, Leslie Smart, is a man or a woman, then your salutation may read: "Dear Leslie Smart:" Two other things to avoid: First, a salutation that just reads, "Mr. Thomas," instead of "Dear Mr. Thomas," which is less abrupt. In the same way, do not write "Dear Mr. Smith" without putting a colon after "Smith" or "Dear Leslie" without putting a comma after "Leslie."
If the reader has any questions, ask him to call you. Don't refer your reader to "Policyholder Services," or some other company entity. You should be the only contact point for anyone writing to you from the Insurance Commissioner's office.
Don't be overly humble. It may be a bit too humble to begin a letter to an insurance commissioner by writing, "Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to review Ms. Jackson's claim." Instead write, "Thank you for giving us the opportunity to review …. " Instead of the overly humble " Please accept this letter and attachments in response to the above-noted consumer complaint," you should write, "This letter and attachments will show how we handled the Smith claim."
Lead the reader by the hand when making calculations. You have an obligation to your policyholder to make your calculations so clear that even a child would get the gist of what you're expressing. Too many people whisk through the numbers and what they stand for so that the reader is left in a quandary. Write calculations laid out in the vertical way people are used to seeing them, unless they are so obvious that one can write, "2 + 2 =4."
Avoid too much passive language. Why write "A review of this claim has been made." Who made it?
Be consistent. Is it "policy holder" or "policyholder"? Look it up and use the correct word consistently. According to the American Heritage College Dictionary, "policyholder" is one word.
Finally, proof for punctuation problems. Punctuation counts. Claimants may know when you are misusing punctuation and grammar. They may try to use a writer's sloppy grammar as a pretext for fighting back. Know how each punctuation mark is used. Review ways of avoiding subjects and verbs that disagree, nouns and pronouns that disagree, sentence fragments, and run-on sentences.
Here are a few comma mistakes that appeared in a recent response to a claimant's complaint:
"The officer did place a consistent factor of failure to yield on our driver Bob Tilley but when …. " (commas should be placed around " Bob Tilley.")
"Our investigation indicated our insured was not at fault for the loss and after speaking with the police officer to verify his report our stance has not changed." (commas should appear after "and" and "report.")
"21 South Wells Street Ste 14″ (this sentence needs a comma after "Street" and a period after "Ste."). Better yet, spell "Suite."
Run-on sentences, in which two sentences are pushed together without either a semicolon or a period, are common. For example: "A review of the claim showed that the check was issued in the amount of $888.07, this was for damage to both sides of the insured vehicle."
How do your department's claim letters measure up? Are they making you proud or opening the door to slowed-up settlements, embarrassment, and even bad-faith lawsuits? If your adjusters are writing just 10 hours each week, that's 500 hours each year. Training them to write with clarity and consistency will help them grow in their jobs, help their morale, and produce letters that will help your customer satisfaction ratings soar.
Dr. Gary Blake is director of The Communication Workshop, a provider of claims seminars, webinars, and editorial consultation. He may be reached at 516-767-9590, garyblake@aol.com, www.writingworkshop.com.
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